deadcenter: (no one will know audience)
Kiyomasa Senji (千地 清正 Senji Kiyomasa) ([personal profile] deadcenter) wrote in [personal profile] entreats 2013-02-10 07:36 pm (UTC)

[As soon as he heard her say those words, practically yelling at him, screaming at him to stop he can't find the strength to even turn the knob anymore. He stares at the wood, unable to turn around right away as he hears what she's going on about. The way her family died and she had been so impossibly lonely....? How she should have just died?

Well, aren't those words and feelings familiar?

He recalls that feeling so well, growing up and living and just trying to get by, just trying to go on and see the next day. It was horrible, he was always alone, no one ever really wanted to talk to that punk kid that started all those fights and was always in trouble. Then he became a cop, he felt like he was accepted within that little group of friends he had, the only friends he's ever had when he was growing up. Then that was all taken away, all because of him, he saw them all torn up and those images still haunt him.

He knows the feeling of just wanting to die, he knows what it's like to break down and cry, to beg and pray that this isn't real, that they need to come back and live instead of the person that relied on them the most. He finds himself so pathetic back then and since then he's been trying so hard to become something he isn't, to keep on moving and to live every day however the fuck he wants.

Being so close to Ange, liking her the way he does, it hurts him because he's so impossibly afraid that he'll mess up and that she'll die like the others had. Sure, in this place you can come back but what if she doesn't, then what? He'd be a mess already, he wanted to go back to just being... well, friends, but they're already too far gone here.

Slowly he turns to look to look at her, his eye growing wide as he stares at her form, crying and yet again he curses himself for causing this, for causing her so much pain that she's sobbing now. Dammit what should he do....?

He's frustrated, upset, angry, confused, bitter- all of the above right now he can barely take it. He's no good for her, he shouldn't be with her, this should have stopped long ago...!

And yet he's turning all the way, his body facing her fully and he's not even realizing what's going on here himself. He closes the distance between the two of them, reaching out to her he places a hand on the back of her head, and he simply leans in towards her, his lips crashing down on hes in a desperate kiss. He just.... couldn't take it anymore, his chest was hurting him so badly, he couldn't see her like this.

But then again... what she had been saying hit him hard since he understood those feelings so well. He was lonely too, he loved her too, so why the hell can't he ever be happy? Being a Deadman is a curse, not a blessing, no matter how much he talks about loving to kill things and cut stuff up, no Deadman is ever happy.

Dammit, he wants to be happy, and she should too.... so this is the result of all that pent up anger.

His kiss leaves much to be desired, he's never done anything like this before so he's rough, his mouth pressing against hers a little too hard, but he can't help it. He has his eye closed now, his heart pounding in his chest and he was sure it was going to break his ribcage. So... he tells her no then does this? Well, he always did tell people to keep moving forward, not to look back and keep on changing so.... time to own up to these feelings, even if he still thinks there are better people out there for her.]

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