entreats | ooc ⚜ ic inbox for havenrpg

Hmm. [ It's her only reply to Ciel's reassurance at once. She isn't the type who wants to delude herself with false hopes only to get disappointed later, but she thinks that just maybe she can actually believe in this one. After all, it happened to other people and they came back.. the only worrisome thing is that it happened right with tons of stuff going on. But she has to believe. After all.. it's probably what friends do. She figures.

Instead she focuses on what else Ciel says. ]

No, it's not really like that. [ Not that she's hated, but.. her conclusion to begin with is because of what Anri told her. How she said that Ange or any of the others could have been hurt. Was that why she left it up, to remind herself of that, to steel her determination? It can only remain a guess as long as Anri herself isn't here. ] If it was like that, then I would already have taken care of it myself. But.. since it's Sonohara-san, I don't want to disrespect whatever her wishes might be.

[ Exactly because it's Anri. Because it seems so easy to hurt the girl. ]

What do you think the reason is, then? Even if it's something important, what says another type of reminder can't be crafted to replace the current one instead?

[She asks seriously, looking back at Ange intently.]

.. If you're that concerned, just ask her when she gets back. [ Since Ciel used "once" too, Ange decides to go with "when" instead of if instead too. The answer is still fairly calm, but more serious than her usual deadpan. ]

Doing something behind someone's back is no good, even if it's with the best of intentions.

[ And that's how ep8 butthurt happened.. ]

[>Doing something behind someone's back is no good, even if it's with the best of intentions.

.............................................................................

ah well. in that case.]

Do you firmly believe that, Ushiromiya-san?

Huh? [ .. Somehow it feels loaded. The way Ciel asks it. Maybe the fact that she's asking for her to confirm it is what gives her that feeling, or maybe her tone, but..

She's usually honest unless she's denying her feelings either way. No sense in lying now either, even if there's a near sense of dread. ]

Well.. it usually just hurts the person more if they only find out something happened and they were the only one out of the loop later on. That's why I'm saying I'm not sure if we should remove it to begin with, since it might potentially hurt Sonohara-san's feelings. Although it could relieve her too, but there's no way of telling without asking her directly about it instead. [ In other words, to not do it behind her back. ]

[...

She swallows the sigh that's building up, ultimately.]

I suppose we could, I'll try to convince her to get rid of it once she comes back. What will you do then, A- [...ah] Ushiromiya-san?

[ ..

Huh. Almost like the tension is gone. Well, whatever it was, maybe Ciel just had some personal sort of thing with those messages.. did she get one too back then? Maybe she should ask about it some other time. Especially if it's a problem for her.

But with that slip up there, she can't help but focus on that before answering the actual question.. ]

You can say Ange if you want to, you know. I don't really care for formalities. [ She mostly does it with some people here since she actually wants to put effort into being semi-nice to some people instead of being a little shit 24/7 like back home. ]

Ah... Are you sure? You're still Japanese, and first-name bases are...

[she lets it hang, but she'd be lying if this wasn't a welcome subject change. HERP DERP...]

[ She waves one hand slightly, almost dismissively. ]

I'd rather have someone call me Ange and be kind than having them call me Ushiromiya-san and be nothing but crappy to me. [ She's endured enough of the latter, after all. ] Really, it's fine. My name sounds western to begin with, right?

[...Ouch, that sounded a little personal. Like hinting towards bullying experience, except logic dictates that since these things should be long behind her, there's no point in dredging up past unpleasant memories.

So nodding lightly, she chuckles quietly.]

If you're sure, but that's true, too. 'Ange' is a French word; you likely already know, right, Ange-san?

Hmm. It means angel, doesn't it?

[ Not that Ange's.. French.. is really any good.. she probably had classes French at school, but she never paid much attention to anything there, so she doesn't remember much than a few random things and even that's at best. Her name is another story though. ]

.. Even though I don't really think it suits me. But I'm stuck with it either way, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Oui, c'est ça! [then ciel'll do it for them both, nodding with a smile.]

It's a nice name, though! Has no one ever called you Tenshi-san?

[that's just teasing now, ciel...]

[ Wow, showing off much there, Ciel!! ]

If they would, I probably would have punched them in the face. [ And despite her deadpan tone, it's not.. really.. a joke.. she might actually have, depending on the person who did it. ] It sounds more like a lame joke than anything else. Usually people either call me "Ushiromiya-san", "Ange-san" or "lady". [ Yes, lady as in "ojou" without the respectful and usual -sama added at the end.. so the meaning is practically ruined by that. ]

[she's actually a lot more prone to gratuitous french usually, okay]

I think it'd be a fitting nickname... [as if she's really as disappointed as she sounds...]

Lady? I didn't know your family was influential!

[ It's an embarassing nickname, Ciel! And not fitting at all! But she figures the more she insists, the more obvious her embarassment will be.. come on, Ange, just take a deep breath, count to ten, find your pokerface... ]

We just have a lot of money. About [ insert some pretty high sum here.. we're talking "one of the most rich people in Japan, probably top 3 or so" standards here, yes. ] or so. Not that it means I'm influential or anything though, so I figured there wasn't any need to bring it up in a place like this.

[good choice, she's learning...

but wow! and the surprise is open on her face]

--My goodness. Right, that's true, and while it's a little cliched, that explains why you have such an extensive family.

...

Was it a burden?

Also why most of them try to be super fancy, right? [ It's a weird idea that Ciel might somehow have met more of her family than she has in years thanks to Mayfield shenanigans, but it's not like she's bitter or anything about it. By now she can just casuall shove it aside. ]

But of course it was a pain, isn't money always like that? They were always arguing about it, but it was no use since they after all all just died in the end. That made me the sole heir to all of it.

...

I remember, but somewhat vaguely. The old man was especially eccentric, maybe that was your grandfather...? [cheek scratch, herp derp

but oh, at that casual toss-out, ciel just turns around to eye ange quietly. ...money only buys death, huh.

let's skip out on the "I'm sorry"s.]

Mm. The succession and will arguments must've been terrible. [since ange is taking it like that...] ...if you could be reborn, [...] Ange-san, what would you want to be?

..

Well, if you've met grandfather, you've met them all. That guy's like a symbol of everything wrong with this family.

[ No kidding whatsoever. If Ciel met Kinzo, then Ange is fairly sure Ciel would already understand.. ]

As to your second question though.. that's a pretty heavy kind of thing to ask, right?

[ It's why she's quiet for a moment, thinking about it as she stares up towards the sky. It's weird, thinking about how many answers she could have had before. To be anything but her. To be happy, live a normal life, to be with her family, to be someone who could prevent her family from dying.

.. Did she really leave that all behind? Because when she thinks about it now, it's like she can't even feel the heavy weight anymore. ]

If I could be reborn.. I'd like to just be reborn as me. I can't deny that my life has been pretty crappy, and there's been plenty of times where I wished it would just end for weeks on end, but.. if it's the only path to get to this point where I am now, then I wouldn't want to trade it in for anyone else. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to apologize for it to my parents in the afterlife since I never did turn out like some cute girl the way I was supposed to, but.. this is me. A gloomy and slightly boring girl, but I'm happy.

.. Pretty corny, isn't it?

I... see.

[there is nothing to say beyond that. it's vague, but she still remembers an old fart, also she trusts ange, so she'll take her word for it.

...

an answer like that though, haha.]

It depends on the perspective. I confess, I would expect you to say something like a rabbit, or a cat.

[She's wearing a faint and teasing smile, but not taking herself seriously in the least, and she makes no show of hiding it.]

Haha. I'm really impressed actually, Ange-san. That was very moving, and it takes a lot of strength, to be able to say out loud something like that. Despite all the hints you've dropped, to still go ahead and say that sort of thing with your usual expression...

[She looks away, ducking her head a little.]

I'm a little envious, personally.

[ For a very, very brief moment, Ange imagines herself as a rabbit. And she wrinkles her nose at the thought, it's too weird... she's not cute like that, okay! ]

I don't think it's something to be jealous of.. [ Nor is she so strong - or so she thinks, at least. Ange wants to be strong more than anything, but she knows her own weakness more than anyone else. It's why she can't accept the compliment as easily - especially not when it comes from Ciel, who always seems so much like she has everything together. ]

I mean, it's just the conclusion I arrived at after a really, really long journey. Maybe it's exactly that kind of experience that slowly changes you into an old lady who can say corny stuff like that, so in that case you should know more about it than me, Ciel-san.

'Envious' and 'jealous' aren't the same thing. Not exactly!

[don't ask how are they not

but she chuckles quietly, watching Ange fondly.]

Maybe I do, but it doesn't mean I have to like or accept it. I wouldn't change my past, but if I'm to be reborn, the life I've led has been too exhausting for me to consider redoing it all over again. Although I wouldn't complain anyway, I suppose... Haha.

[...]

And I'm not that old. Do I really look like it at all, to you?

[ Exhausting, huh.. she doesn't know much about Ciel's life before this place at all - aside from hearing about Mayfield, but she doesn't know anything about her world. What kind of place was it..? Ciel always seemed so well-adjusted that she hadn't thought much of it, but for her to say something like that now..

.. well, the past is the past. It's something she very well knows too by now. ]

No, it's more of a mental thing. I could easily see people calling you an adult, while it'd probably be a far stretch for anyone to say the same about me. [ That's putting it in the nicest way possible.. old spinster Ciel. ] Then again, this kind of conversation does sound like something two old ladies would talk about. Maybe I've seriously gone too far this time.

I still blame it over the fact that Mayfield shoved me in a Mother slot for two years. I could've been in a child slot and passed off for a third year senior for at least one more year, you know?

[small sigh! of tragedy!!]

But that didn't happen. I woke up as Merem's mother, and I was treated as an adult for two years. I really would've been a more senpai sort of person, otherwise. Which year of high school were you in by the way, Ange-san?

[ignoring the old ladies part, okok]

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no i have slain sleep

mama is such a brave warrior

tell kaye i'm always watching hhh

i'm pretty sure she realises by now tbh

good good