[ they're the same person after all, although the last part does make her a little quiet - maybe she feels a little guilty at hearing that, since ririchiyo doesn't have a family here like her, but.. ]
.. I'm glad to see them again here, yeah. It's been so long, so it's.. strange, but it's nice as well. I missed them, after all.
[ falling silent she ceases with her talking, almost as though she'd let the topic come to a close. but that was far from the truth as many thoughts were swirling around in ririchiyo's head revolving around having a family. she wasn't sure if she would ever be ready to tell ange about the wish soushi had told her about wanting children someday, but only time would tell. ]
Hey, Ange. Can I ask you a question? [ deciding not to wait for her acceptance or rejection on the topic she continues on. ] What does it feel like, having a parent who cares for you as much as that man?
[ it's.. a strange question, but she gets it, in a way - ririchiyo has told her about her things from back home too, so despite both having been lonely, their family contact was very different.. after all, if ange's family hadn't died when she was young, she would have been close to him like she was when she was little. ]
Well.. it's difficult to explain. [ and she wants to put it in a way that would hurt the other girl the least, since she is strangely thoughtful when it comes down to it. ] But.. it's nice, I guess I can at least say that much. Even if dad can be a huge idiot and much too protective.. I love him. I really love my family, and they all love me in return, so.. that's the best feeling in the world. It mans you're never alone.
[ ... so that’s how it felt. she didn’t really understand what the other girl was saying but, somehow, she understood the concept of family a little better now. to have a family meant that you were never alone, no matter what the circumstances. in that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if that was how her younger sister felt, smiling happily as she always did in photographs. did she feel as though, no matter what, their parents would stand by her through thick and thin? that they would love her without comparing her to her older sister?
it must be nice though, to know that your family would stand by your side regardless of who or how you are. the only memory that stood out to ririchiyo was when her father hit her for admitting in how she felt like she was always living in her normal younger sisters’ shadow. what right did she have to feel that way? she was the throwback, the lucky charm; what chance did her younger sister have in being more like her? she was normal. even if she knew why her father reacted the way he did and accepted what he was saying, she couldn’t simply erase the envy she felt. ]
... I don’t understand it all that well, but I’m sure it’s nice. [ and she meant that. ] When I was younger, I told my father how I was jealous of my normal little sister. I felt like I was always being compared to her no matter what I did and that’s when he struck me. At that time he said to me; “What do you know!? What do you know... Compared to you, who is in a more pitiful situation?” It was then that I realised that his eyes that were brimming over with tears weren’t out of confusion and nor were they for me. They were tears of compassion for my sister, and not me.
Even so, I understand what he meant now. I don’t want anyones compassion; in fact, I feel blessed to have the life that I have because I have people who try and understand me. Even for someone like me, there are people like that. That, in itself, makes me happy.
.. That feeling.. is one I understand as well, either way. [ Because even if she did have her family, it changed when Eva started raising her instead - only comparing her to her own dead son, hitting her just because she was never good enough, just something to take her frustration out on. ]
But.. don't say stuff like 'I don't want anyone's compassion'. I'll give you it, because I want to.. because you deserve to be happy as well.
Those words, those very words, struck her harder than she thought possible. Did she really deserve to be happy, smiling alongside her younger sister in those photographs she received every now and again? She wasn’t familair with the emotion of happiness and it wasn’t until the moment she confessed her feelings to Soushi that she understood what happiness felt like. It was a beautiful feeling pinched in with a bit of sadness -- or had that been joy? She couldn’t remember and nor could she differincate the two.
In the books she read she would often come across chapters which revolved around happiness and love and she would wish she knew what that felt like. Or, at least, her younger self wished that she knew.
Unable to conjur a witty response, she merely stares at her bracelet as she fiddles around with it every now and again before throwing herself, head first, on to her bedsheets. With an absentminded mind, she creates circles on her sheets as she brushed her finger counter-clockwise. ]
You really are a strange one, Ange. [ But she meant no ill by stating such a fact. ] I do wonder what you see in me sometimes.
Saying I'm strange for saying you deserve to be happy is like saying I'm strange for saying you're allowed to breathe.
[ That's still a little deadpan, since it's more or less an automatic retort, but.. ]
.. The two of us.. we're friends, right? You've been putting up with me and talking to me all this time already, and I know you aren't a bad person at all. So of course I can at least say something like that for sure.
Of course we’re friends. [ If it was easy to detect or not, Ange may notice how much easier she could say the f-word in her presence and the sole reason behind that was because, out of everyone she’d ever met in Asgard, she always considered Ange her true friend, the friend who would never leave her on her own. And, much as she hated to think about that day (if such a day ever came), she knew that without her it would be so much harder to function and even more harder to allow anyone else to get this close to her.
Ange really helped a lot during her stay here and so the very thought of her leaving was almost like losing a soulmate. Essensially, that is what they were -- the two of them were soulmates, but on a more platonic scale. After all, the term ‘soulmates’ didn’t only apply to those of romantic ties for even friends could be considered as such. Best friends moreso than anything else. ]
It’s nice to know that someone besides Miketsukami-kun thinks of me in that light. To be honest with you, my orginal plan was to be left alone before people started interesting me. I was so used to people thinking of me in the way of not wanting to be involved with me unless they wanted some of my families money. In fact, I had grown to used to it that people could badmouth me as loudly as they could and I would just grit and bear all the horrible things said about me to me.
But, even so, I’m glad to have a friend like you Ange. It’s a nice feeling, and it’s different from being lovers but... it’s nice. Having friends and knowing people believe that you deserve happiness, it’s almost like being part of a family. At least, from how you described it.
[ .. It happens so often when they talk, right? The more she hears about Ririchiyo, the more Ange always realises they really are the same in a lot of ways. They both closed themselves off to other people out of fear of getting hurt or lied to again - they just did it in different ways, either by being rude or being completely apathic, but.. it's not what they really want. Something as simple as a friendship like this.. it's maybe just what they needed all along, Ange realises that much. ]
I'd hope it's different from being lovers. [ It's a joke, and for once instead of only saying it in a deadpan tone, she even manages to crack a small smile at it. ] But.. yeah, you're right. Having friends or family.. it's almost the same, the difference is that with family you're connected by blood. But it's the same feeling, the feeling of.. belonging somewhere.
[ Simply having a friendship as simple as this one... it was all either of them needed, if they were to be perfectly honest. All along all they needed was a friendship as strong as the one they possessed right now to open up a little more; of course, both of them still had a long way to go before they felt comfortable in their own skin and it would take them twice as long to realise that people could actually like them, even love them. But there was someone out there for both of them, someone who tried to understand them better than anyone else in the world. ]
Hm-Hmph. I guess what I’m trying to say is... [ Losing her cool, she begins stuttering and stumbling over her words due to the reality of the things she’d been saying sunk in -- embarrassing things, yes but nothing she wished she could take back. ] I-I’m happy that you’re my friend and if you ever disappear on me I will drag you back here myself if I have to. And if you ever forget me... I’ll have to make you remember, I suppose.
[ in other words, she's happy, okay.. it's rare to hear ririchiyo admit this much, but that only makes it better in itself. and it's.. nice. a little happy, even. ]
I guess I should get back to damage control about dad suddenly going crazier than usual though by now.
[ while she may not be able to see the smile, she can certainly hear it in ange's voice. it made her feel a little happier about saying the things she did just now as it was clear her words meant a great deal to the other girl. unable to hold it in anymore, she lets out a light laugh at a mixture of the image of ange's dad being crazy and the relief she felt. ]
I suppose that would be wise, right? You never know what else he’ll do after broadcasting the list of guys he banned from speaking to you. ... Not that any of them will listen, though.
Of course not. The guys I know are way too stubborn to let some old guy stop them. [ she's sort of grateful for that, honestly. ]
Tell that guy I'm sorry for my dad listing him too. [ she means soushi, of course, but she hardly has to mention the name when there's obviously one guy super close to ririchiyo. ] And then I'll talk to you again later.
Mi-Miketsukami-kun is taking it better than I thought he would. [ in her own language that meant that soushi didn’t care for being threatened by ange’s dad and, by the end of the day, it was just ririchiyo being a considerate girlfriend, if not a little defensive. ] Hmph. You don’t have to worry about him come to think of it. A-Anyway, I’ll talk to you later Ange...!
[ and before she allows for her to respond, she ends the call with an abrupt beep -- seems someone didn’t want to admit that she was worrying over soushi’s manly parts thanks to rudolf. ]
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.. I'm glad to see them again here, yeah. It's been so long, so it's.. strange, but it's nice as well. I missed them, after all.
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Hey, Ange. Can I ask you a question? [ deciding not to wait for her acceptance or rejection on the topic she continues on. ] What does it feel like, having a parent who cares for you as much as that man?
no subject
[ it's.. a strange question, but she gets it, in a way - ririchiyo has told her about her things from back home too, so despite both having been lonely, their family contact was very different.. after all, if ange's family hadn't died when she was young, she would have been close to him like she was when she was little. ]
Well.. it's difficult to explain. [ and she wants to put it in a way that would hurt the other girl the least, since she is strangely thoughtful when it comes down to it. ] But.. it's nice, I guess I can at least say that much. Even if dad can be a huge idiot and much too protective.. I love him. I really love my family, and they all love me in return, so.. that's the best feeling in the world. It mans you're never alone.
no subject
it must be nice though, to know that your family would stand by your side regardless of who or how you are. the only memory that stood out to ririchiyo was when her father hit her for admitting in how she felt like she was always living in her normal younger sisters’ shadow. what right did she have to feel that way? she was the throwback, the lucky charm; what chance did her younger sister have in being more like her? she was normal. even if she knew why her father reacted the way he did and accepted what he was saying, she couldn’t simply erase the envy she felt. ]
... I don’t understand it all that well, but I’m sure it’s nice. [ and she meant that. ] When I was younger, I told my father how I was jealous of my normal little sister. I felt like I was always being compared to her no matter what I did and that’s when he struck me. At that time he said to me; “What do you know!? What do you know... Compared to you, who is in a more pitiful situation?” It was then that I realised that his eyes that were brimming over with tears weren’t out of confusion and nor were they for me. They were tears of compassion for my sister, and not me.
Even so, I understand what he meant now. I don’t want anyones compassion; in fact, I feel blessed to have the life that I have because I have people who try and understand me. Even for someone like me, there are people like that. That, in itself, makes me happy.
no subject
But.. don't say stuff like 'I don't want anyone's compassion'. I'll give you it, because I want to.. because you deserve to be happy as well.
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Those words, those very words, struck her harder than she thought possible. Did she really deserve to be happy, smiling alongside her younger sister in those photographs she received every now and again? She wasn’t familair with the emotion of happiness and it wasn’t until the moment she confessed her feelings to Soushi that she understood what happiness felt like. It was a beautiful feeling pinched in with a bit of sadness -- or had that been joy? She couldn’t remember and nor could she differincate the two.
In the books she read she would often come across chapters which revolved around happiness and love and she would wish she knew what that felt like. Or, at least, her younger self wished that she knew.
Unable to conjur a witty response, she merely stares at her bracelet as she fiddles around with it every now and again before throwing herself, head first, on to her bedsheets. With an absentminded mind, she creates circles on her sheets as she brushed her finger counter-clockwise. ]
You really are a strange one, Ange. [ But she meant no ill by stating such a fact. ] I do wonder what you see in me sometimes.
no subject
[ That's still a little deadpan, since it's more or less an automatic retort, but.. ]
.. The two of us.. we're friends, right? You've been putting up with me and talking to me all this time already, and I know you aren't a bad person at all. So of course I can at least say something like that for sure.
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Ange really helped a lot during her stay here and so the very thought of her leaving was almost like losing a soulmate. Essensially, that is what they were -- the two of them were soulmates, but on a more platonic scale. After all, the term ‘soulmates’ didn’t only apply to those of romantic ties for even friends could be considered as such. Best friends moreso than anything else. ]
It’s nice to know that someone besides Miketsukami-kun thinks of me in that light. To be honest with you, my orginal plan was to be left alone before people started interesting me. I was so used to people thinking of me in the way of not wanting to be involved with me unless they wanted some of my families money. In fact, I had grown to used to it that people could badmouth me as loudly as they could and I would just grit and bear all the horrible things said about me to me.
But, even so, I’m glad to have a friend like you Ange. It’s a nice feeling, and it’s different from being lovers but... it’s nice. Having friends and knowing people believe that you deserve happiness, it’s almost like being part of a family. At least, from how you described it.
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I'd hope it's different from being lovers. [ It's a joke, and for once instead of only saying it in a deadpan tone, she even manages to crack a small smile at it. ] But.. yeah, you're right. Having friends or family.. it's almost the same, the difference is that with family you're connected by blood. But it's the same feeling, the feeling of.. belonging somewhere.
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Hm-Hmph. I guess what I’m trying to say is... [ Losing her cool, she begins stuttering and stumbling over her words due to the reality of the things she’d been saying sunk in -- embarrassing things, yes but nothing she wished she could take back. ] I-I’m happy that you’re my friend and if you ever disappear on me I will drag you back here myself if I have to. And if you ever forget me... I’ll have to make you remember, I suppose.
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[ the smile cracks just a little wider. ]
I'll be counting on you then.
[ in other words, she's happy, okay.. it's rare to hear ririchiyo admit this much, but that only makes it better in itself. and it's.. nice. a little happy, even. ]
I guess I should get back to damage control about dad suddenly going crazier than usual though by now.
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I suppose that would be wise, right? You never know what else he’ll do after broadcasting the list of guys he banned from speaking to you. ... Not that any of them will listen, though.
no subject
Tell that guy I'm sorry for my dad listing him too. [ she means soushi, of course, but she hardly has to mention the name when there's obviously one guy super close to ririchiyo. ] And then I'll talk to you again later.
no subject
[ and before she allows for her to respond, she ends the call with an abrupt beep -- seems someone didn’t want to admit that she was worrying over soushi’s manly parts thanks to rudolf. ]